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Best statuses - Best Facebook status updates

There are no winners in life... only survivors.There are no winners in life... only survivors.
i love u so much babei love u so much babe
Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.
Remember me? I was your best friend when you were single.Remember me? I was your best friend when you were single.
My phone doesn't have enough battery left to take pictures or videos, or send pic messages, but it has enough battery to keep reminding me every 2 minutes that the battery is low.My phone doesn't have enough battery left to take pictures or videos, or send pic messages, but it has enough battery to keep reminding me every 2 minutes that the battery is low.
Liars - people who are too much of a coward to tell the truth.Liars - people who are too much of a coward to tell the truth.
After Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), even the week says "WTF"!After Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), even the week says "WTF"!
Some people need to learn the difference between rude and honest.Some people need to learn the difference between rude and honest.
3AM. Boyfriend sends text message to his girl: "Hey babe I know you're asleep... but I just wanted you to know... I just got the BEST killstreak in Black Ops!"3AM. Boyfriend sends text message to his girl: "Hey babe I know you're asleep... but I just wanted you to know... I just got the BEST killstreak in Black Ops!"
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