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Best statuses - Best Facebook status updates

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Without facebook, i would forget 99% of my friends' birthdays. Without facebook, i would forget 99% of my friends' birthdays.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
Even if you gave up on me, you should know for the future: no matter how hard it was, you can not be cold and unavailable, hidden behind a friend, if you expect to meet someone. This requires twoEven if you gave up on me, you should know for the future: no matter how hard it was, you can not be cold and unavailable, hidden behind a friend, if you expect to meet someone. This requires two
Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE Follow them around the house everywhere Moo when they say your name Run into walls Say that wearing clothes is against your religion Jump off the roof, trying to fly Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people At everything they say yell, Liar Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine Try to swim in the floorHOW TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE Follow them around the house everywhere Moo when they say your name Run into walls Say that wearing clothes is against your religion Jump off the roof, trying to fly Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people At everything they say yell, Liar Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine Try to swim in the floor
Do not tell God how big problem do you have. Tell your problem how big God do you have. <3Do not tell God how big problem do you have. Tell your problem how big God do you have. <3
My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and an extremely large trash can.My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and an extremely large trash can.
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