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New Facebook status updates - Page 67

Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do""Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Texting your mate after a night out to make sure they're aliveTexting your mate after a night out to make sure they're alive
Licking your food so you dont have to share.Licking your food so you dont have to share.
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