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New Facebook status updates - Page 80

Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.
Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.
I'm a ninja. No you're not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.I'm a ninja. No you're not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".
Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.
Becoming emotionally unstable after finishing a TV series.Becoming emotionally unstable after finishing a TV series.
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