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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 39

Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.
We all have that one friend who disappears during every night out.We all have that one friend who disappears during every night out.
Awkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hotAwkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hot
I must go. My planet needs me.I must go. My planet needs me.
Being around someone so much, you catch their habbitsBeing around someone so much, you catch their habbits
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