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Best Facebook status updates - Thursday

Missed Calls: Dad (1), Sister (1), Mom (48)Missed Calls: Dad (1), Sister (1), Mom (48)
i dont drink, smoke, swear or have sex, i am a virgin who loves god.i dont drink, smoke, swear or have sex, i am a virgin who loves god.
My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!
I'm not weird, I'm limited editionI'm not weird, I'm limited edition
If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries.If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries.
It's not a real relationship until you secretly start to hate each other.It's not a real relationship until you secretly start to hate each other.
We all have that one special wish for New Year :)We all have that one special wish for New Year :)
Liars - people who are too much of a coward to tell the truth.Liars - people who are too much of a coward to tell the truth.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, friend Requests are great, But who are you?Roses are red, Violets are blue, friend Requests are great, But who are you?
So I hear you are seeing my ex. Well I just want to apologize ahead of time for that rashSo I hear you are seeing my ex. Well I just want to apologize ahead of time for that rash
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