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Best Facebook status updates - Sunday - Page 70
No calls, no texts, nothing but i'm still here thinking about you like mad
Had a dream I was a king. Woke up, still king.
Hanging out with Jesus to save money on wine
"I had a dream about you" "Awwww" "Yeah, we f**ked "
Lost your pen = no pen. No pen = no notes. No notes = no study. No study = fail. Fail = no diploma. No diploma = no work. No work = no money. No money = no food. No food = you get skinny. Skinny = then you get ugly. Ugly = no lover. No lover = no marriage
Katy Perry's living her Teenage Dream... Lady Gaga's ignoring her Telephone... Travie McCoy's is a Billionaire... While Justin Bieber is having a Baby.
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
Wow. You guys are so cool for taking a profile picture. Of yourself. In a mirror. In your bathroom. With a toilet as your background. Nice. XD
I ♥ my dad
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