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Best Facebook status updates - April - Page 100
Listening to a song, and remembering all the memories that go with it
I'm not hungover... I have wine flu.
No, I Don’t Care If I Die At 12 AM, I Refuse To Pass On Your Chain Letter
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. the length of a P*nis is 3x the thumb. the Fumar is hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than men's. women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles to balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text while the man is still looking at his thumb.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
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