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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 60

Not messing with adele, because she'll write a whole album about you.Not messing with adele, because she'll write a whole album about you.
Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.
I'm Real Girl! No fake Tan, No fake Boobs, No face splattered in make up.I'm Real Girl! No fake Tan, No fake Boobs, No face splattered in make up.
Lost your pen = no pen. No pen = no notes. No notes = no study. No study = fail. Fail = no diploma. No diploma = no work. No work = no money. No money = no food. No food = you get skinny. Skinny = then you get ugly. Ugly = no lover. No lover = no marriageLost your pen = no pen. No pen = no notes. No notes = no study. No study = fail. Fail = no diploma. No diploma = no work. No work = no money. No money = no food. No food = you get skinny. Skinny = then you get ugly. Ugly = no lover. No lover = no marriage
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
I ♥ my dadI ♥ my dad
My name changes to "Billie" whenever I want to be alone.My name changes to "Billie" whenever I want to be alone.
...with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake......with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake...
I hate idiots that create their own bad weather, then stand in the rain and say shit..it's raining!I hate idiots that create their own bad weather, then stand in the rain and say shit..it's raining!
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