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Best Facebook status updates - Thursday - Page 90

My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!
Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.
Being inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatheringsBeing inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatherings
When everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my catsWhen everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my cats
Responding to texts while half asleep, then realizing you make no sense.Responding to texts while half asleep, then realizing you make no sense.
Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.
*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked.""Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
Getting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobileGetting home and going on FB after a long hard day of FB mobile
Getting a ma*sive urge to kiss someone when they're next to youGetting a ma*sive urge to kiss someone when they're next to you
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