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Best Facebook status updates - Thursday - Page 93

Licking your food so you dont have to share.Licking your food so you dont have to share.
Texting your mate after a night out to make sure they're aliveTexting your mate after a night out to make sure they're alive
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do""Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
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