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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 100

Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastardNot texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.
That awkward moment when you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.That awkward moment when you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
Singing "You Raise Me Up" while riding the escalator.Singing "You Raise Me Up" while riding the escalator.
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