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Best Facebook status updates - Page 109

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.
Turning your porn up really loud so your neighbors think you have a girlfriend/boyfriend.Turning your porn up really loud so your neighbors think you have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Being inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatheringsBeing inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatherings
I have no idea what you just said so im just gonna say "yeah" and smileI have no idea what you just said so im just gonna say "yeah" and smile
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
Shooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permissionShooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permission
Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.
Slapping your pockets to make sure you haven't lost anything.Slapping your pockets to make sure you haven't lost anything.
`Are you home?` "no. I just answered my home phone from a bat cave"`Are you home?` "no. I just answered my home phone from a bat cave"
Air mata tak mungkin bisa dapat membuatmu kembali kepadaku (◕‿◕✿)Air mata tak mungkin bisa dapat membuatmu kembali kepadaku (◕‿◕✿)
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