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Best Facebook status updates - Page 23

I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
Half drunk is a waste of MoneyHalf drunk is a waste of Money
"No friends in common" "So that's a 'no' to Mujhammad"."No friends in common" "So that's a 'no' to Mujhammad".
Yes, I do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute.Yes, I do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute.
Ale-alejandro, Papa-Paparazzi, Po-po-po-pokerface, Te-te-te-telephone... Hmmmm am I the only one that thinks Lady Gaga might have a speech impediment?Ale-alejandro, Papa-Paparazzi, Po-po-po-pokerface, Te-te-te-telephone... Hmmmm am I the only one that thinks Lady Gaga might have a speech impediment?
Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.
Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name* ...dammit.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.
Trying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statusesTrying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statuses
Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
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