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Best Facebook status updates - Page 26

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? "Give me your cell number."What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? "Give me your cell number."
My girlfriend always complains that I don’t take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the Gas Station.My girlfriend always complains that I don’t take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the Gas Station.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat... My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat...
Send her a morning text, let her know she was on your mind. ;)Send her a morning text, let her know she was on your mind. ;)
Hangovers: God's way of saying "YOU KICKED ASS LAST NIGHT"Hangovers: God's way of saying "YOU KICKED ASS LAST NIGHT"
nobody bring me DOWN!nobody bring me DOWN!
I enjoy exams so much I usually take them twice.I enjoy exams so much I usually take them twice.
A woman's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.A woman's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.
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