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Best Facebook status updates - Friday - Page 45
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"
I'm fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Only this time, it’d be with a car or a baseball bat...
"OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!! Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!"
Sometimes the only way to hide the pain is to smile.
Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :)
Like if you don't smoke.
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food...?
"It's impossible." said pride. "It's risky." said experience. "It's pointless." said reason. "Give it a try." whispered the heart.
I'm tired of giving my heart away, it always comes back broken!
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