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Best Facebook status updates - March - Page 13

Guys who can cookGuys who can cook
The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.
I must go. My planet needs me.I must go. My planet needs me.
I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.
In your bed, It's 6AM, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 7:45. At school or work, It's 12:30, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 12:31.In your bed, It's 6AM, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 7:45. At school or work, It's 12:30, You close your eyes for 5 minutes, It's 12:31.
You are the constant tingle to my heart<3You are the constant tingle to my heart<3
I'm not a b*tch, i'm just honest.I'm not a b*tch, i'm just honest.
i love cigarettes<3i love cigarettes<3
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