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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 7

Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
I Hate it when My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.I Hate it when My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
I'm not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat.I'm not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat.
Talking in different voices so your neighbours think you have friendsTalking in different voices so your neighbours think you have friends
Using complicated words when arguing against dumb people.Using complicated words when arguing against dumb people.
Having inside jokes with yourselfHaving inside jokes with yourself
Becoming emotionally unstable after finishing a TV series.Becoming emotionally unstable after finishing a TV series.
Sleeping diagonally in your double bed because your a single bastard.Sleeping diagonally in your double bed because your a single bastard.
"I had a dream about you" "Awwww" "Yeah, we f**ked ""I had a dream about you" "Awwww" "Yeah, we f**ked "
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