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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 85

I love listening to lies when i know the truth.I love listening to lies when i know the truth.
I remember when my bestfriend was the shy and quiet one... I created a monster:DI remember when my bestfriend was the shy and quiet one... I created a monster:D
I'm not weird, I'm limited editionI'm not weird, I'm limited edition
WTF = Welcome To FacebookWTF = Welcome To Facebook
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funeralsOld people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
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