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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 92
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
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