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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 92

Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do""Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
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