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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 109

My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastardNot texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
Dropping out of society to live in the wilderness as a unicornDropping out of society to live in the wilderness as a unicorn
That awkward moment when you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.That awkward moment when you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back at yours, now back at mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about the other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. I’m on a computer.Look at your status, now back to mine, now back at yours, now back at mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about the other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. I’m on a computer.
My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!My imaginary girlfriend dumped me today... Let's Get FAT!!
Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.Laying on the bathroom floor... Not my favorite way to start the day.
When everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my catsWhen everyone is in a relationship, and you're like lol where are my cats
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