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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 119
Licking your food so you dont have to share.
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"
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