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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 74

Not wearing condoms because the world needs more people like youNot wearing condoms because the world needs more people like you
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastardNot texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.Sitting on your floor in your undies. Not knowing what to wear.
Having too much month left at the end of the money.Having too much month left at the end of the money.
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
Buying a 2013 diary coz youre an optimistic bastard.Buying a 2013 diary coz youre an optimistic bastard.
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
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