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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 22

Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.Being single because you're so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.
Buying a 2013 diary coz youre an optimistic bastard.Buying a 2013 diary coz youre an optimistic bastard.
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Trying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statusesTrying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statuses
The awkward moment when you're alone with someone you just met.The awkward moment when you're alone with someone you just met.
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