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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 22

Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Texting your mate after a night out to make sure they're aliveTexting your mate after a night out to make sure they're alive
"I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy.""I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy."
wonders how in a world with 6.8 billion people in it, some of us are still lonely...wonders how in a world with 6.8 billion people in it, some of us are still lonely...
nobody bring me DOWN!nobody bring me DOWN!
Old enough to know its a bad idea, young enough not to careOld enough to know its a bad idea, young enough not to care
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