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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 70
I killed a Unicorn today ..... I did a DNA test to prove it was a Unicorn, but the pics I took are too horrific to show you . Ask a mark of respect to the magical beast , I buried it at sea. You all believe me don't you ?? =P
There's this beautiful girl just f**ked me 40 ways from Sunday... we're done, she's walking to the bathroom, she's trying to walk, she turns... she looks... it's me. Not the Trojan army just f**ked her. Little old me. She gets this look on her face like: "How the hell did that happen?"
Why can't people see that theres more to me than what's on the outside? If people just put their judgmental ways aside and look beyond the freckles and bad jokes, they might see there is a real person with feelings underneath. Humans put their faith in objects that will only be here for a while. The only thing that is worth more than gold or diamond or silver, is someone to share your thoughts and feelings with...
Every life has a story, every story has a life. When two stories come together, a new life is born. When two lives come together, a new story is born. Sometimes new stories will come into someones life. Other times an old friend will leave someones story. Life is like an empty book, and you are the writer. Only you can write the story of your life. about an ho
I don't want to be someone I'm not. So why can't you let me be me?
When you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not.
I'm so smart sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying.
hy frdz enjoy ur life smothly
People say that they would die too see you, but the truth is that the die when they see you cuz ur an ugly mother...
I Spam Your Mom
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