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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 89

Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
Johnny, la gente esta muy locaJohnny, la gente esta muy loca
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
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