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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 96

Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at itBelieveing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
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