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Best Facebook status updates - Friday - Page 55

Some advice okay? Just don't put your f**kin' finger at crazy people!Some advice okay? Just don't put your f**kin' finger at crazy people!
Never wanted it to be so cold... Just didn't drink enough to say you love me...Never wanted it to be so cold... Just didn't drink enough to say you love me...
My girlfriend always complains that I don’t take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the Gas Station.My girlfriend always complains that I don’t take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the Gas Station.
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn’t open for you...That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn’t open for you...
At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport. =D♥At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport. =D♥
What do you do when the dishwasher won't work? SLAP THE B*TCH.What do you do when the dishwasher won't work? SLAP THE B*TCH.
If You wanna Be A MAN . . . Smoke Marlboro instead of SLIMS :)) xDIf You wanna Be A MAN . . . Smoke Marlboro instead of SLIMS :)) xD
Enter your status...Enter your status...
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your d*ck on the curtains. How do you make a woman scream twice? F**k her in the a*s, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.
That insignificant feeling of pride you get, when you find a penny on the ground.That insignificant feeling of pride you get, when you find a penny on the ground.
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