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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 27
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
all we need is diet.
When life is hard, I take a nap.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
Monday Tuesday WTF (Wednesday Thursday Friday)
Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
I pretend that I dont care, but it makes me miss you more.
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