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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 27

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked.""Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
all we need is diet.all we need is diet.
When life is hard, I take a nap.When life is hard, I take a nap.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
Monday Tuesday WTF (Wednesday Thursday Friday)Monday Tuesday WTF (Wednesday Thursday Friday)
Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
I pretend that I dont care, but it makes me miss you more.I pretend that I dont care, but it makes me miss you more.
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