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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 111

When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
I'm a ninja. No you're not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.I'm a ninja. No you're not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
LIKE IF you`re Saying "Yeah I`m on my way." when you`re still at home.LIKE IF you`re Saying "Yeah I`m on my way." when you`re still at home.
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