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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 90
Licking your food so you dont have to share.
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Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
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"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
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Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
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Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
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Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
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Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
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Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
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Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
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Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
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