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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 91

Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
Sitting on the couch and doing nothingSitting on the couch and doing nothing
Going the toilet on a night out and coming out with a new best mateGoing the toilet on a night out and coming out with a new best mate
Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"
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