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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 98

Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at itBelieveing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
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