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Best Facebook status updates - April - Page 26

I almost went for a run today. Then i came to my senses and had a smoke.I almost went for a run today. Then i came to my senses and had a smoke.
Letting Vodka make all your decisionsLetting Vodka make all your decisions
Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
Making a big deal over nothing because you're a womanMaking a big deal over nothing because you're a woman
The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.The awkward moment when Barbie realises Ken has nothing in his pants.
Guys who can cookGuys who can cook
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