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Best Facebook status updates - This Week - Page 31

Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolismEating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
That one person you liked from the moment you met themThat one person you liked from the moment you met them
I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.I drink on only two occasions, when it's my birthday and when it's not.
Awkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hotAwkward moment when you can't talk properly because the other person is hot
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