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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 27
When I'm bored I stand in the garden and pretend to be a carrot.
"You’re too gorgeous to be single" - "You’re too ugly to be flirting with me"
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" "Not drunk, just relaxed and naked."
Being inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatherings
I named my hard drive "That Thang" so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back That Thang up.
Buying a 2013 diary coz youre an optimistic bastard.
Singing "You Raise Me Up" while riding the escalator.
That awkward moment when you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.
When life is hard, I take a nap.
Asking Gollum to be the Ring Bearer for your Wedding.
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