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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 95

Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.Getting drunk and selling your friends for cigarettes.
You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:You may wear the pants in this relationship, but i control the zipper. (:
I wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean itI wanna be slammed against a wall and kissed like you mean it
Blanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats youBlanket on - too hot, blanket off - too cold, stick leg out - Demon eats you
Sitting on the couch and doing nothingSitting on the couch and doing nothing
Going the toilet on a night out and coming out with a new best mateGoing the toilet on a night out and coming out with a new best mate
High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.High heels were invented so women could put away dishes on the top shelf.
Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"Looking at someone and thinking "The things i would do to you"
"I need a drink or 12.""I need a drink or 12."
That one person you liked from the moment you met themThat one person you liked from the moment you met them
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