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Best Facebook status updates - Friday - Page 94
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
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