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Best Facebook status updates - January - Page 70

Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.Not Safely Removing Your USB Because You're A Fearless Bastard.
When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".When two people go missing from a party, "they're probably having sex".
Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.
Getting shampoo in your eye and accepting the fact you'll never see againGetting shampoo in your eye and accepting the fact you'll never see again
Using complicated words when arguing against dumb people.Using complicated words when arguing against dumb people.
Girls ignore nice guys and chase a*sholes, then complain about it. Fact.Girls ignore nice guys and chase a*sholes, then complain about it. Fact.
Not wearing condoms because the world needs more people like youNot wearing condoms because the world needs more people like you
*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!*Checks who`s online*. Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!! "Hey what`s up?" Damn!
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