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Best Facebook status updates - January - Page 86

Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.Walking around the house like a half dressed prostitute because your too lazy to put proper clothes on.
A man in the kitchen is sexyA man in the kitchen is sexy
Hanging out with Jesus to save money on wineHanging out with Jesus to save money on wine
...with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake......with a friend like you climbing Mt. Everest is a peace of cake...
I smile when my phone buzzes..... because I know its you. :)I smile when my phone buzzes..... because I know its you. :)
Yes i am Stupid: (S)mart (T)alented (U)nique (P)erson (I)n (D)emand.Yes i am Stupid: (S)mart (T)alented (U)nique (P)erson (I)n (D)emand.
I Can. But I won't.I Can. But I won't.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married
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