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Best Facebook status updates - - Page 85

Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.Women only belong in the kitchen? No action in the bedroom for you then.
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
When life is hard, I take a nap.When life is hard, I take a nap.
Being inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatheringsBeing inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatherings
Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.Not telling your parents about the nice man who gives you candy in his van.
I want someone to love me for me, not my mad sex skills.I want someone to love me for me, not my mad sex skills.
"You’re too gorgeous to be single" - "You’re too ugly to be flirting with me""You’re too gorgeous to be single" - "You’re too ugly to be flirting with me"
Have you ever seen me and batman at the same time? I didn't think so.Have you ever seen me and batman at the same time? I didn't think so.
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