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Best Facebook status updates - Monday - Page 96

"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do""Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With ThemLicking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.Crying after sex because you're sick of women using you for your hot body.
Giving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbishGiving your friend the last chip so they have to deal with the rubbish
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutellaRomantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Marrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastardMarrying whoever wins Masterchef because you're a hungry bastard
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at itBelieveing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
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