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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 31

Dont Be In A Relationship If You're Going To Act SingleDont Be In A Relationship If You're Going To Act Single
Our small, stupid conversations mean more to me than you'll ever knowOur small, stupid conversations mean more to me than you'll ever know
When I'm bored I stand in the garden and pretend to be a carrot.When I'm bored I stand in the garden and pretend to be a carrot.
Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.Dear 4th Grader, On Facebook, your relationship status is 'It's complicated'. What he do? Steal your animal crackers? Sincerely, Your Mother.
LIKE THIS if you know SOMEONE who needs a smack with a shovelLIKE THIS if you know SOMEONE who needs a smack with a shovel
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.Ohe satisfaction of sleeping in your own bed after being away for so long.
Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"Police call it "Drunk and Disorderly" we call it "having a good night"
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