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Best Facebook status updates - Saturday - Page 58
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Licking Candy Canes Till They're Sharp And Then Stabbing People With Them
Getting a sticker at the dentist because you're a brave bastard.
Romantically removing the gold paper from your nutella
Looking at % instead of price when buying alcohol.
Believeing something will load quicker if you dont look at it
Eating anything cause you're a fit bastard and have a high metabolism
Deleting your internet history after a hard day of being a priest.
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