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Best Facebook status updates - Wednesday - Page 49
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
Bad day, Bad day, Bad day, Bad day, Friday!
Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
As we grow up, we don't lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are
YUGO - You go, but car doesn't
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