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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 89

Shooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permissionShooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permission
Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Sometimes a hug can mean more than wordsSometimes a hug can mean more than words
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat.""Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastardNot texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'‎7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
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