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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 89
Shooting your gf because she left the kitchen without permission
Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Sometimes a hug can mean more than words
My neighbour is stalking me, he Googled me, I saw it through my telescope.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" ... "No, your fat makes you look fat."
Not texting back for 3 hours because you're a hard to get bastard
7.12 am OMG! im late again muuuuuuuuuuuum ?? why didn't you wake me up ? -.- mum: I did. 3 times and each time you told me that you were getting up right way ^.- and you belived me mum?!? -.-'
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.
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