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Best Facebook status updates - Tuesday - Page 91

I know a bunch of random usless facts that will get me nowhere in life.I know a bunch of random usless facts that will get me nowhere in life.
"I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy.""I got a ride Mom." "With who?" "I don't know but they have candy."
Licking your food so you dont have to share.Licking your food so you dont have to share.
Texting your mate after a night out to make sure they're aliveTexting your mate after a night out to make sure they're alive
Standing in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noisesStanding in the kitchen pretending to be a woman, making woman noises
Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.Watching a romantic movie and accepting the fact you're going to die alone.
"Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do""Dude she just called you hot" - "They all do"
Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.Sending good morning texts to yourself because no one loves you.
Waving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchenWaving the offside flag when your Girlfriend leaves the kitchen
Doing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else'sDoing whatever the f**k you want, because it's your life and no one else's
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